What Every Son Needs From His Father
Jul 25, 2024
What Every Son Needs From His Father
As fathers, we play a critical role in the development of our sons. Every boy looks up to his dad for guidance, wisdom, and love. Without these, they may seek out guidance from less reliable sources. In this blog post, we’ll explore the five core elements that every son needs from his father. These elements not only help in shaping their character but also build a strong father-son bond. I'll share personal anecdotes on how I engage with my three kids on these topics to provide practical examples.
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Time Together: Just Me and Dad
One of the most valuable things you can give your son is your time. Small, frequent moments and larger, intentional activities both matter.
Small Doses: Sometimes, it’s the little moments that count the most. I make sure to play a quick game with my kids, even if it’s just a five-minute card game before dinner. When they want to talk, I stop what I’m doing to listen, showing them that their thoughts and feelings are important. Each morning, I make it a point to give them a kiss before I head out to work, and we have a dedicated chat each night before bed. These small gestures reinforce that I am always there for them.
More Extensive Time: On weekends, we often embark on bigger projects. Recently, my eldest son and I built a birdhouse together. It wasn’t just about the end product; it was the process of working side by side, teaching him how to use tools safely, and problem-solving together. Sometimes, we take trips to Home Depot, not just to buy supplies but to explore and learn. These activities provide ample opportunities to bond and teach practical skills.
Life Skills
Teaching life skills is essential. In today's world, schools no longer cover basic home economics or shop classes, so it’s up to us as fathers to fill that gap.
Electricity and Circuits: When my middle child showed an interest in how his electric train worked, we spent an afternoon taking it apart and studying the circuit. This hands-on approach sparked his curiosity and gave him a foundational understanding of electricity.
Mechanical Skills: When my youngest wanted to “help” with the car, I seized the opportunity to teach him how to change a tire. It took three times longer than if I’d done it myself, but seeing his pride in contributing made it all worthwhile.
Cooking: In our house, cooking is a shared activity. My kids each have a favorite dish they like to make. It’s a fun way to spend time together and teaches them an essential life skill. Whether it’s flipping pancakes or making a simple pasta dish, these moments in the kitchen are golden.
Money Management: We also talk about money. I teach them the importance of spending wisely, saving for the future, and giving to those in need. Through weekly allowance and chores, they learn to manage their finances and understand the value of hard work.
Philosophy
Providing your son with a strong philosophical foundation is crucial. This includes spiritual guidance and teaching them to live by certain principles.
Spiritual Conversations: We attend church together every Sunday. This not only provides spiritual grounding but also opens up conversations about faith, morals, and ethics. I make it a point to live out these values at home, reinforcing that actions speak louder than words.
Modeling Behavior: My sons learn by observing. I strive to model godly behavior in everyday situations—showing kindness, patience, and integrity. When they see these qualities in action, they are more likely to adopt them in their own lives.
Conviction
In today’s world, our sons are bombarded with information and opinions from all sides. It’s essential to be clear and firm about our own convictions.
Discussing Complex Topics: Growing up, topics like politics, money, and social issues weren’t discussed in my household. I’ve chosen to take a different approach. We have open, honest conversations about these subjects. I explain my viewpoints, the reasons behind them, and encourage my sons to ask questions and form their own informed opinions.
Guiding with Purpose: When discussing challenging topics, I always tie back to our family’s values. This helps my sons understand not just what we believe, but why we believe it. It equips them to navigate the complex world with a strong moral compass.
Dad's Heart
The emotional connection between a father and his son is irreplaceable. Every son needs to feel loved, affirmed, and valued by his dad.
Expressing Love: I make it a point to tell my kids every day that I love them and am proud of them. Whether it’s acknowledging a small achievement or simply expressing gratitude for their presence in my life, these affirmations build their self-esteem and sense of security.
Providing Affirmation: I always look for opportunities to highlight their strengths. If my son excels in a particular subject at school or shows kindness to a friend, I make sure he knows I’ve noticed. This affirmation helps them recognize their unique talents and contributions.
Fathers, the time, skills, values, convictions, and love you invest in your sons today will shape the men they become tomorrow. By being present and intentional, you can build a lasting bond and guide them toward a fulfilling, purpose-driven life.
Watch the embedded video below for more insights and practical tips on strengthening the father-son relationship: