What They Don’t Tell Fathers About Raising Sons
Jul 11, 2024
What They Don’t Tell Fathers About Raising Sons
Raising children is harder than ever. Raising a boy to be a man—now that is a challenge we cannot fail at. As a father of two boys, I’ve learned some critical lessons along the way that no one ever told me. Here are six lessons I’ve discovered about raising sons and how I’m working to raise my boys into men.
1. He Watches What I Do, Far More Than What I Say
One of the first things I learned as a dad is that my sons watch what I do much more than what I say. As a former medic, I’ve seen some tough situations. I remember a cardiac arrest scenario where being unflappable was essential. However, this stoicism isn’t always the best approach when trying to teach your son to open up emotionally.
There’s a fine line between being cool and collected and being completely disconnected. It’s important to show your son that it’s okay to express feelings when appropriate. This includes treating his mother well, as your relationship with her sets a powerful example.
2. They Are Selfish, Sociopathic Little Sinners
Let’s face it, kids can be incredibly self-centered. Your son has no clue nor cares what life was like before he was born. To him, the world revolves around his needs. It’s our job as fathers to guide them towards morality every day.
One effective way to break this selfishness is by modeling respect and love for their mother. Treating her like the queen she is shows your sons how to respect others. Be firm in redirecting their selfish behavior and consistently guide them towards empathy and kindness.
👶Get your New Dad Survival Guide! This will walk you through the key things to know for your first two months when baby arrives. (It is all the things I wish the dad before me would have written down so here it is for you) ✅DOWNLOAD FOR FREE! 👇🏻👇🏻
https://www.ryanfieldsspack.com/survival
3. They May Not Like a Sport
I played soccer and lacrosse, but despite my best efforts, my son doesn’t like either. And that’s okay. Your child will likely have different interests than you, and that’s something to embrace. Expose them to various activities anyway because the less time they spend in front of a screen and the more time they spend engaging with other kids and coaches, the better.
4. School is Hard
Get ready for a new level of stress when school starts. If your wife is anything like mine, she will take on the brunt of the logistics for school stuff, but there’s still so much to manage. From registration to preschool work, the demands are high.
Gone are the days of simple kindergarten activities like painting and naps. Today’s kindergartners are expected to know how to read, sound out sounds, and do basic math. It may seem far off, but start preparing now. Early intervention can be crucial if your child has trouble reading or needs speech therapy. Boys often struggle more in school compared to girls, so be supportive and proactive in their education.
5. Hug Them
My father was my hero, and we were always working together on bigger and better projects. However, I don’t remember much physical affection, and I believe that’s why I’m a bit more hard around the edges. I have the foundation from my dad, but I’m building on it for my kids. Now, I double down on showing affection, including hugs and playful wrestling. These small gestures go a long way in building a strong, loving relationship with your sons.
6. Don’t Let Today’s Culture Take Hold
Today’s culture can lead boys down paths that may not align with traditional values. It’s important to be the barrier between the world’s influences and your son’s mind. Monitor their content consumption closely—no social media and careful oversight of YouTube content.
Don’t be afraid to call out negative influences directly when you see them. Encourage activities that build strength, resilience, and character. Let them wrestle, stand up for their siblings, and understand the difference between boys and girls. Your guidance is crucial in shaping their worldview and values.
Conclusion
Raising sons into men is a journey filled with challenges and rewards. By being a positive role model, setting clear boundaries, and showing affection, we can guide our boys to become strong, empathetic men. Remember, your actions speak louder than words, and the lessons you impart today will shape their future.
If you found these insights helpful, please share your experiences and thoughts in the comments below. Let’s support each other in this incredible journey of fatherhood.
Watch the full video here👇🏻👇🏻